Satiger: Zombies in the Halls

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More and more students here at Orem High are walking around in a sort of haze. Almost like they’re zombies. Well I hate to break it to you but it’s because they are.

Many people believe that to become a zombie, someone has to first be bitten by one. But that is not true, all someone has to do is miss your deadlines.

Every year students start the year off well, trying to keep up with their homework, but then they fall behind. Maybe they got sick or had a family emergency, but their class deadlines don’t move.

Most people think of deadlines in the traditional sense; it has to be turned in by this date or time. But Orem High has added the historical definition to that; If you cross the line, you are liable to be shot, or in this case turned into zombies.

Some teachers would vote to just leave the students dead after they miss the deadline, but then they would continue to miss school, and that is unacceptable.

The reasoning behind turning students into zombies rather than something else like a vampire is simple. Zombies are less noticeable in a high school, they blend in with the sleep deprived, socially awkward kids that already fill the hallways. Also they don’t try to suck people’s blood like vampires do. They want to find brains, which is the goal of schooling anyways, they just go about it in an unconventional manner.

If worries about the safety of the students around these creatures have come to mind, ignore them. Half of the students walk around nearly comatose anyways, so their brains are not noticeable enough to be in danger. The other half of the students are aware enough that they could outrun the zombies if necessary. They aren’t very fast creatures.